Good morning?!?

*The author of this blog would like to make a quick parental advisory disclaimer on the nature of this blog post.  Some content may be too much for children, and possibly some adults.  It mentions me exercising, as well as some other hoopla.  Please be advised to continue reading, at your own risk.*

This morning I made a decision to do something that I don't normally do, and that's go wogging!  For those who are unfamiliar with wogging, it is defined by my good friend Shelly as "a mix between walking and jogging."  It's not nearly as technical as speed walking, it doesn't get me out of breath like straight jogging, its a perfect cardio mix while being gentle on this out of shape gal.  I got my sweetest non-looking pajamas out and put them on for my "work out gear," and I was ready to carpe the crazy out of this diem!  I opened the front door, went to step out, and there it was...  A bunny.  Dead and mangled.  On my front steps.

Now, we have a dog, and I am not new to dead, mangled bunnies.  My cousin Shanna can attest to this.  One night, we were on the back deck, and my sweet hunting dog, Jack, brought me a stuffed animal.  Except it wasn't a stuffed animal, it was a dead bunny he had caught.  Well, I imagine it was alive when he caught it, but it was dead when he brought it to me.  I thought it was a stuffed animal, and I was wrong.  BUT, that was in the back yard, where he, and the bunnies, are fenced in.  The bunny this morning, WAS ON MY FRONT STEPS.  As I was the only adult home, I was gifted with the pleasure of cleaning the dead bunny off my steps.  In doing so, I had to wonder, "How did this dead bunny get here?"  Here I have listed some possible solutions.

1.  Teen Wolf has come to Bloomington-Normal.  In an attempt to introduce himself to his neighbors, he left us all a gift, a mangled animal.  I'm sure I'm not the only person here that received one this morning.  I'm certain that my neighbors got their gift as well.  Since it is Teen Wolf, I can speak with some authority that its more than likely not just bunnies he left.  My neighbor to the left got a stray cat (he is helping the Normal coalition of capturing stray cats).  My neighbor to the right got a squirrel.  Down the street?  A groundhog.  Around the block?  A river otter.  Teen Wolf doesn't discriminate, and I'm not so certain that his act of kindness is going to be welcome in the neighborhood.

Just in case #1 may be far fetched and untrue (although I highly doubt it is, I feel its the most viable option thus far), I present hypothesis #2.  Somehow, someone in the neighborhood knew that when I woke up this morning I would have a renewed energy flowing through me and that wogging would be my only option for carpe-ing this Diem in a fun, healthy fashion.  However, living on a busy street, this unnamed person, "neighbor," if you will, wanted to spare the early morning drivers from having to witness my wogging and upsetting their stomachs before their breakfast had digested.  Therefore, they snuck into the stillness of the night, found a bunny that had been mangled (possibly by a car, possibly by Teen Wolf), and placed it on my front steps.  This "neighbor" knows me well, because they knew I would procrastinate until the absolute last minute to do my wogging, open the door to my gift, and wouldn't be able to wog because I had to clean carcass off my steps before families arrived.  Mission accomplished, "neighbor."

3.  It could be possible that last night, some animal found the bunny, and found my front steps a safe haven from traffic and other animals, and chose to do whatever it is that big animals do to little animals in a city neighborhood.  While this is highly unlikely, I suppose it could happen. 

4.  Someone has misunderstood my love for the Twilight saga, and assumes I'm either a vampire or a werewolf, and wants to send me a message.  Please note, misunderstood person, #1.  If I were a vampire or werewolf, don't you think I would know if Teen Wolf had moved here?  Please stop the messages.  (I add this because I assume that if someone has this assumption about me, they are probably keeping a close eye on me and reads my blog.)

In any event, wogging will just have to wait until this evening.  While I'm out, I will survey the neighborhood looking for signs of Teen Wolf.  But for now, I think I need to go hose off the steps.  Has anyone else ever had this happen to them?  What are you thoughts on how this bunny ended up on my front steps?

Have a good day to all my readers, and Happy early Mother's Day to all my mommy readers!  I hope your weekend is filled with wonderful surprises, not dead bunny ones.