My current motivator

I read a blog on an almost daily basis called Stuff Christians Like. It's written by Jon Acuff, and it's truly a wonderful blog, you can check it out here. Some days are filled with witty musings on silly things Christians do, some days its filled with amazing testimony that helps me see that I am not a failing Christian, but instead a human with flaws. I love this blog, Jon's humor, and his willingness to honestly share with the world his life.
Lately I have felt that life has been pulling me in a million different directions. Between multiple extra curricular's for my 7 year old, my husband coaching football for two teams (JFL and high school), being a full time wife, mom, student and daycare provider, I've just been exhausted. I've not made the time I should for myself, my relationship with God, or my relationships with others. I've been emotionally drained, felt used, grumpy, tired, impatient and its all accumulated to produce one stressed out, not fun, Maegan. I kept telling myself that once football was over life would slow down, and it did. But my attitude didn't improve. It got worse. I started taking things personally, I was becoming more agitated with little things, and the more control I tried to take, the less in control I felt.
Which brings me back to the Stuff Christians Like blog. The other night, after the kids went to bed, I was reading up on the blog I've neglected lately. I came across this video by Blaine Hogan. As I watched the video I began to realize that all of my stresses, all of my grumpiness was simply a matter of me not letting go of things I have no control of, relying on my ever loving God who is ALWAYS with me, and fostering the relationships (including with the Lord) that mean the most to me. I've allowed myself to become consumed with things I cannot change, I've worried about what I need to do next to the point that I haven't been able to enjoy the present. My worry turned to grumpiness, which prevented me from being content. This video was a great reminder to be still, be here, and just be content. God is ultimately in control, and the more I give to Him, the more content I am with the present. I watched it again today as I felt myself getting worked up, and it really put me back into perspective.  My patience has returned, I'm enjoying the kids, my job and finding new things to do to occupy my time. 
Life's too short to stress over things you have no control over. Take time every day to thank God for what you have, pray for those who need it, take time for yourself. Take time to be still and be here. Thank you, Jon and Blaine, for the reminder!

The Sweet, Red Firebird

The sweet, red Firebird my husband used to drive. It was one of the reasons I was attracted to him (totally shallow, I know). It was fast, I felt so cool driving it, the radio did a sweet bumping thing when you turned up the bass, he kept it clean, and it looked rediculously funny parked in front of our trailer. I believe I mentioned in a previous post how I accidentally drove the sweet Firebird on railroad tracks. It was an accident, but I can look back now and say I was probably trying to be as cool as I felt when I was driving that night. I zigged when I should have zagged, taking a jaunt that was NOT a jaunt, and before you knew it, that beautiful red machine was teetering back and forth on a set of tracks, a circus balancing act, if you will, just waiting for Amtrak to deliver its demise. Fortunately for me (and less fortunate for some of my friends), a nosy, yet helpful, lady stopped, saw we needed help, and called the local sheriff's department. The sweet, red Firebird lived to see another day thanks to that nosy lady, even if all of our pocketbooks were lighter.

I saw a Firebird like this beloved car tonight and I started thinking about how proud my husband was of his car. He took care of his car, it was worth more than our home (at the time), and it was his. Was it the nicest car ever made? No, but it was a car he wanted, he worked hard for it, and he was proud of it. It was his baby. Until one day, when I told him I was pregnant.

Nothing was mentioned of the Firebird throughout the beginning of the pregnancy, but one day, it became apparent that the Firebird was not an optimal family sedan. The time came, and Wes sold his car. I never thought much of it (and maybe I'm thinking too much about it now), but it just made sense to me that a car seat didn't fit, and it had to go. Maybe its because up to that point I had never owned a car that I cared about. Maybe it was pregnancy hormones diluting my thinking (I blame everything on pregnancy hormones - and I haven't been pregnant in 3 years), maybe its because I was more selfish than him.

(May I mention as a side note, not only did he sell his car, he took on my 1992 Mercury Topaz. That I bought from my grandma for $500. Whose paint came off on your hand when you closed the doors. That had an inappropriate nick name that referenced poo. I'm 98% sure this photograph is of a nicer Topaz than what he got.)


For whatever reason, tonight, it hit me. He sold his car, and inherited a lemon. Not because he wanted to, not because he had to, but because he wanted to do what was best for his new family. We didn't have a lot of money, and selling the car helped us make it through maternity leave. Selling the car gave us the option of getting a practical, safe family vehicle. Taking on ownership of the Topaz gave the baby and me a safer mode of transportation, with air conditioning, and a liner on the roof.

Maybe selling his car is just a little thing, but sometimes the littlest gestures in life make the biggest impact, and we all too often overlook them. I think God sent this sweet red Firebird across my path to remind me that my husband is an amazing man who gives for his family before anything else when it means the most (and even most of the time when it doesn't). And I think God sent this because we are on the verge of football season and maybe every time I see a sweet red Firebird between now and November I will remember that he does love us, but he already gave up his car... : )